random thoughts

July 2018 Top Ten!

/ gwencease / 2 Comments

07-Top 10_ Things I'd Want if I Were Trapped on a Deserted Island

Welcome to the randomness that is the Wednesday blog. This week is a really awesome top 10 and it’s something that I’ve thought about before. So, here, in no particular order, are the things I’d want/need/require if I were trapped on a deserted island.

First, I’d have to have books. Tons and tons of books. I love to read so what better way to pass the time than reading.

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Second, I’d have to have my laptop. I would finally have time to write in quiet so why waste it?

Next, I’d have to have music. I couldn’t survive without it. And have you noticed nowhere on this list is food or a place to sleep. Yeah, a girl has her priorities.

Third, finally, is a comfortable shelter. Like this:

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Number 4 a magical kitchen that would just give me food. I can cook, but don’t like to so a kitchen that just makes me food would be a must.

#5 I would want to have my kitten with me. I can’t imagine going anywhere without her.

Six, a hunky man to do all the heavy lifting and such. Oh and to keep the above pool clean. Ummmm, someone like

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Huh, is it getting hot in here? *fanning* Anyway, what number am I on???

Seven, I’m on seven. I would want my crafting projects. Especially my knitting and cross stitch. After I’ve written and read, and done whatever with Jason I would love to spend a quiet evening doing cross stitch. And yes, that’s what we all call it.

#8 – A cell phone to call my friends.

Nine is wine! I would want to have yummy wine on my island of pleasure.

And finally, number ten a huge boat so I could bring my sister and friends in to visit.

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Bronwyn

Top 10: Insecurities

/ gwencease / 2 Comments

05-Top 10_ Insecurities

Hello and welcome to the randomness that is Wednesday. Wow, this topic is intense. Who the hell picks these things??? I need to tell you my top 10 insecurities? Shit, it’s going to take forever to whittle down the list to just 10. Huh, or maybe it’s just the top 10 insecurities I like to use in my writing? Yeah, I’m sure it’s not that.

Let’s see if I can get to 10 before I quit and crawl into my blanket fort with a book and a glass of wine.  As always, these are in no kind of order.

  1. I won’t be able to ever write again. This is a huge insecurity and it’s dogged me my entire life. Now, has it ever happened? Not really, though I’m still struggling to finish Entangled.  It’s not that I’m not working on the book, it’s the fact that I need to keep making adjustments because it’s just not right.

2. I’ll be 85 and asking people if they want fries with that. Truly, unless you are really wealthy the idea of a huge retirement savings is never going to happen. I have a retirement account, but it’s not nearly what it should be. Hence the worry.

3. My eyes will get so bad I can’t read. I know, what a random worry, but it actually happened to my mom. She also had tons wrong with her eyes too, but this is still a worry of mine. I can’t imagine not being able to read. Or knit or embroider or write or the millions of other things I do.

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4. I’ll end up alone. I’m sure this is a worry that many people have, but it’s one of my huge deal things I fret over.

5. I replay stupid shit I’ve done or said all the way back to when I was a kid. I know, crazy, but yeah I do it. I also know this is fairly common, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

6. The feeling that I’ve let someone down or made a major mistake. This will tie me into knots and I have a huge stress response with this. Like I can’t eat, sleep, and end up physically sick. I also get heart palpitations and feel like I can’t breathe.

7. Even at my age, I often don’t feel like a grown-up. In fact, I will look around to see if there’s a more grownup grownup around than me. I think this goes back to the sexual abuse I suffered as a kid. Sometimes, if the situation is intense I just don’t feel old enough or mature enough to handle whatever it is.

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8. If people really knew me, they wouldn’t like me. And, this is funny since I don’t put on a new persona when I go out. I’m me, all the time. So, if you don’t like it then there’s nothing I can do for you. This also feeds into no one likes me. This especially happens at work, which is kind of funny since I really only have a few people I’ve connected with. See, weirdness.

9. I’m totally insecure about my weight. I’ve fought it all my life. I’ve been as small as 130 pounds and as large as . . . well I am right now. No matter what’s I’ve weighed or looked like I always find some flaw. Once again, I know this is fairly common, especially with women.

10. Finally, I’m insecure about where I am in life especially at my age. I often think I should be more financially secure or have an amazing relationship or have kids. This is kind of funny since I never wanted kids, ever. I still don’t want kids, but it’s one of those milestones that other women have crossed. So, since I haven’t, then there must be something wrong. I’ve also never been married. Once again, not something I wanted, but it’s another milestone.

So, there they are. Some of my insecurities. If you would like to share some of your own, please feel free.

Bronwyn

Songs that Represent Each Decade of My Life

/ gwencease / 5 Comments

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Welcome to the randomness that is Wednesday. Today our amazing question is: If each decade of your life was represented by a song, what would it be? Wow! That’s a tough one since I love music so much. I guess I could go in a few different directions with this but I think I will give you the song that I remember/loved the most from each decade.

Here goes:

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This to me was really the defining decade as far a music went. When the 70s first rolled around I was so little, so I don’t remember much. But as the decade went on, my musical tastes changed so quickly. I went from the boy singers like Leif Garrett to really good music such as Led Zeppelin and Bob Seger. I think the song that sticks out the most though, was my very first crush Tony DeFranco and the DeFranco family. I’ve talked about him before in a previous post, but here’s the song (the only song) I remember from them.

 

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I rolled into high school in the 80s and the band that I loved, at the beginning anyway, was Journey. I know, but when you’re 15 they’re the shit. Anyway, I collected all their albums (yes vinyl) and when they went on tour to support Escape I was allowed to see them. Talk about excited. My friend Sherry and I got to go and we were so excited. I still really like this song.

 

1990S

By the 1990s, I was working and going to college. I made some really great friends during this time and most weekends were spent out at the dance clubs. So. Much. Fun. I went to New Orleans and danced on a bar. Hey, the bartender offered free drinks. I also attended my last really big concert. Yeah, I’m an introvert so I hate crowds. Going to concerts is a major overload so I go to see the people who matter. When Nine Inch Nails announced they were touring to support The Downward Spiral album I instantly got a ticket.

 

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The 2000s is when I began to teach. To say that my music choices were a bit angry is putting it mildly. I think I needed the driving, screeching music to get me through. My band was Disturbed and their song Down with the Sickness was the bomb (still is in fact). I have the CD and would often play it as I drove to work. LOL! Yeah, I know. I also heard a lot of music at the school dances. Most of the music wasn’t what I listened to, but I did learn the Soulja Boy dance. Yeah, I know that too. When you teach in an elementary school you do what you have to.

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Now we’re up to the last few years. I can’t really tell you what song I’d pick. I don’t really have a group that stands out for me. I can’t even remember the last CD I purchased. Hmmm, maybe Lindsey Stirling. I really like her. And I love the song Hold My Heart, which features ZZ Ward on vocals. Amazing

There are songs that make me turn the radio up like Ed Sheeran’s Shape Of You, but nothing that really stands out huge for me. Perhaps if we do this again, I’ll have something more to share. Hopefully, you liked all the songs I shared with you.

Bronwyn    Kris     Siobhan

Brain Dump or Junk Just Floating Around in My Head

/ gwencease / 5 Comments

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On any given day, my brain is awash in random thoughts. I will share some of this with you. And, before I begin, let me just apologize in advance. Since, yeah, way random. So here goes:

Okay, so I’ve had my ears pierced since I was 11, which was a really long time ago. Huh, I also started my period that year too. Anyway, so, ears pierced at 11. Why did the hole in my left ear close up? I mean, for pity’s sake, I’ve had these holes for  . . . a really long time. So, why and how did just one decide it was time to close up? Yeah, let me tell you, piercing your own ear does not feel good.

I love my friends. I have the very best ones ever. You might think your friends are great, but sorry you’re wrong. I love seeing my friends, but the problem comes with traveling. I love to travel and go places, but truly, I’d rather stay home. I am an introvert. Most people who know me act all surprised at this, but yes I am. If given the chance, I’d rather stay home and read a book, but I want to see my friends too and most of them live out of town. If someone could come up with a teleporter I’d be ever so grateful. Then I can visit and still be home to snuggle with my kitten and sleep in my own bed.

Cats are assholes. I love my kitten don’t get me wrong. Plus, she’s super cute.

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See, told you, super cute kitten

But, no matter how cute she is, she’s still an asshole. She loves twisty ties, the bigger the better. She plays with them, fetches them, drops them in her food and water bowl the works. She will also drag them up onto the bed in the middle of the night and proceed to chase and fight with the twisty. All the while trying to lay on me. Really?? Oh, then she comes over and sticks her big old face into mine since she wants to lay on my pillow for 15 seconds. Once she’s made sure I’m awake, she leaves. Asshole.

Why do people have to be such assholes? The news is full of them. But what’s the point? What is this person gaining by being a total assholes? Unless they don’t think they are and, if that’s the case, someone close to them needs to smack them in the head and tell them to knock it off. This is why I really don’t like to go out. People, as a whole, suck. I love individuals, but as a huge group we are just one big suckage.  I’ve shared this opinion before and I always get people who agree with me. So, if we all agree with this then why are there still assholes out there? I’m sure it will take a better person than me to figure it out.

And, these are some of my very random thoughts for today. Now go and check out my fellow author friends and see what’s on their minds.

Bronwyn      Kris     Jessica D.     Siobhan