3 Things I wished I’d learned much earlier in life

Huh, so I have to keep this to three things? Jeez, there’s like a boat-load of stuff I wish I’d known sooner. For instance, when you reach 30 you still don’t know shit. I really thought that when I reached 30 I would just know things. Like what I wanted in life and where I was heading. Yeah, that so wasn’t the case.

Okay so the first of the big top three is money management. I was a child of the 70s  and parents didn’t think about stuff like that. I had no clue how to handle money. I wasn’t the kid who said “just write a check” when Mom said there was no money, but I didn’t do a good job. I wasn’t a saver and didn’t know how to be. I’m paying for it now, but lessons learned painfully are lessons that stick.

The next thing is self-care is so damn important. The reason we hear about it so much is that it didn’t happen before. Hello, 70s. We didn’t even have seatbelts. Forget about putting yourself first and focusing on what you need. Hell no. That wasn’t a thing. I’ve come to realize over my Year of Self-Care that first, I’m horrible at it and next it’s not something I can do for a year. It needs to be a concerted effort on my part all the time. It’s taken me forever to realize this, but hey, better late than never.

Finally, and this is kind of funny, but nonfiction books are awesome. I never read them. I thought they were boring. Then I read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and Devil in the White City and I was hooked. Now, I probably read nonfiction more than I read anything else. Mary Roach really sealed the deal. I think it was her book Spook that made me realize that nonfiction doesn’t have to be dry or boring. Her stuff is so funny, while still educating.

Now run over and check out the 3 things Bronwyn picked.

 

Best lesson I’ve learned . . .

 

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This week our topic is the best lesson we’ve learned from a work of fiction. Truthfully, the very first book that popped into my head was Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. My lesson: don’t be all sweet and self-sacrificing because you’ll die early, just like Beth. You laugh, but I remember reading this book at maybe 9 or so and I just didn’t like Beth. She was just too goody-goody for me. Then, like that, she died. So, yeah, no being good for me.

That was only reinforced with The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. The main girl, Mary, was a total brat and I loved her. First, she didn’t die. Then, she got to go live in a huge house, make friends, and hang out in a secret garden. Bam! Being a brat totally paid off for her. To this day, TSG is still my favorite book of all time.

Another book was Jane Eyre. Lesson: don’t fall for some brooding man who lives in a crumbling house because he’ll have a mad wife locked in the attic. So, yeah that one saved me from heartache and the possibility of dying tragically.

Truly, the real lesson is don’t believe everything someone tells you. Rochester totally lied to her about his wife. Jerk. Oh then he had the nerve to ask her to run away with him and pretend to be his wife. Assface. In the end, he’s blind and sad and she goes back to him. Uhhh, no. Once a liar always a liar.

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In the midst of reading the classics I was also reading romance novels. Romance novels written in the 70s. Yeah if you don’t know what special little snowflakes these books were, you so have to check them out. Young virgin heroine, much older “hero” who treats her horrible and often rapes her then proclaims in the end that he’d always loved her. Bleck!!  From reading these books, I learned my most valuable lesson and it was:

I can write better than this!

Yep, that was it. Even at 12 I realized I could write way better than what I was reading. In fact, as I read, I was rewriting the book in my head to the way it should have been. Strong, older heroines. Alpha males who loved and cherished their partners. Action and adventure they took on as a team.

Now go visit Bronwyn and see what big lesson(s) she learned.

Top 10: Changes I Need to Make

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As soon as I saw this topic I thought, “Huh, this is either going to be super easy with me having to pick through the thousands of things I want to change or hard. Of course, this is depending on how I feel.” Right now, I’m not feeling too bad so let’s jump into this and see what happens. As always, this list is in no particular order except for #1. Number One is one for a reason.

Number 1 – Stop Procrastinating!!!! I was going to say I’m the Queen, but really, let’s be honest, I’m the Goddess of Procrastination. If I have something I should be doing I can find a million other things to do instead. Am I proud of this fact? No, but see below as a case in point.

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Oh wait, found another and it has Viggo Mortenson in it! Woo hoo!

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Number 2 – I need to exercise. I walk, but not nearly enough. There’s always something else . .  aaaaand we’re back to procrastination. See, how that works??

Number 3 – Writing needs to happen more. Much much more. Like everyday more.

Number 4 – I need to start saving money. Yep, I’ll just leave that right there.

Number 5 – I need to start taking better care of myself. I can say that I’m doing way better, since I named this the Year of Self-Care. I’ve caught up on almost all my doctor’s appointments and even went for the dreaded colonoscopy.

Number 6 – I need to get back to De-Cluttering or Marie Kondo-ing if you will. I was doing pretty good for a while, but dropped off. I need to get back to it so I can finally take the bags of clothes to Good Will.

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Number 7 – I need to get myself more organized at work. I have a ton of different events I go to and schools to visit so I need to begin to create a To-Do list at the beginning of every day.  I think this might also keep me focused, since I seem to have a problem with that.

Number 8 – I need to get out more. I always joke that I’m anti-social, but I pretty much am. I’m an introvert and after talking to people all day long I just want to go home and hide. I think it would be better for me to get out at least one evening and one time during the weekend. Probably mentally healthier too.

Number 9 – Have I mentioned I need to stop procrastinating?? Yeah, that. I need to stop that.

Number 10 – Now I’m going to pivot away from me personally. I need to make changes to my Promises Series. I’ve gotten them all back and so many ideas are swimming in my head I can’t wait to jump in and get started. I’ve already rewritten the entire beginning of Dark Promise in my head so I need to sit and put it down.

That’s it for me. Now go over and see what changes Bronwyn thinks she should make. 

April 2019 Brain Dump

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I have a lot on my mind this month and it all has to do with self-care. I declared 2019 the Year of Self Care and I’ve been working on that. I had intended to post on it frequently, but, realized, I needed to take care of myself before I talked about it. Huh, how about that?

I’ve been taking steps and did want to share those with y’all. First, I did all the medical things I’ve been putting off pretty much forever. So far this year I’ve gone for a pap smear and had my very first colonoscopy. Eeeeesh! Both of these were yuck for different reasons. The colonoscopy’s prep is miserable. I won’t go into detail, but just suffice to say it sucked. The procedure wasn’t bad since I slept through it, but the recovery has been hard. I feel like the desert and can’t get enough water. This is still going on after 2 days. And I just feel woozy and yucky, which is the anesthetic working it’s way out of my system.

The pap was worse. If you didn’t know I’m a survivor of sexual abuse so to say it’s hard is putting it mildly. Let’s just say the whole things sucked a big old bunch of donkey balls and we’ll leave it at that.

So, for positive steps. I found a really great meditation app I’ve been using called Stop, Breath, and Think. I really like it and it’s helped a lot. I was also turned on to a website by a really awesome friend of mine called the Pussy Portal. It’s this huge educational tool to help a woman regain her power and get healthy. I’ve been going through the classes and utterly love it. I think in this time of the #MeToo movement this website is so needed.

I’ve also been writing. So, yay for me!!! Reclaiming my power in a different way. If you have any questions about things I’ve done please leave me a comment below or email me at gwendolyncease@twc.com.

Bronwyn

 

Top Ten: Best Purchases Evah!!

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Okay, so, as the header states, this is all about the best ten things we’ve ever purchased. Usually, I say that the list isn’t in any order, but this time it is . . . sort of. The top two purchases are where they need to be because, of the best purchases, these are the best of the best. EVAH!

In the #1 spot is my baby kitten Maeve! She just turned 4, if you can believe it. And I can honestly say I do not know what I’d do without her.

IMG_0871Even when she stands in front of the computer and rubs her face on me so I can’t work, I still love her to pieces. I’m kind of iffy when she knocks her water bowl over, but I still love even though I think about kicking her fuzzy butt.

Number 2 is the antibiotics I purchased last night. *face palm* I have a wicked UTI heading into a kidney infection and the pills are amazing. I didn’t care how much I had to pay, I felt that bad. Thankfully, they were only 14.00 and I’m feeling so much better, but, believe me, I would have paid way more.

Number 3 is my laptop. I can’t imagine what I’d do without it. I remember when I began to write on a computer and I thought it was sooooo hard. I needed to write it down first blah blah blah. Oh hell no. Putting pen to paper totally slows me down. Typing is the way to go and my laptop(s) have never failed me. Which leads me to:

Number 4 – Carbonite! If you don’t have it, you need to get it. The software automatically backs up my computer to a mysterious cloud. I will never lose stuff again, which I have done before. I think three laptops ago my computer crashed and it was all gone. All of it. That won’t happen to me now.

Number 5 is my Nook. I love books and have tons of them. Now I can have hundreds at my fingertips. When I go on vacation my luggage isn’t filled with ten to twelve physical books (I have done this before) but I just take my Nook and have hundreds and the ability to buy more right there with me. Magic!!

Number 6 is tickets for Colonial Williamsburg. I love this place! I’ve been three times and could go again tomorrow. I love history and the amazing stories of every day people and this is Williamsburg. The programming is great and the museum is fantastic. If you’ve never been, you should go.

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Number 7 is my very first cross stitch pattern. I got it because I thought it would make a great gift for a friend. Oh, and I kind of wanted to teach myself cross stitch. Yeah, see I truly didn’t know what I was doing. Anyway, once I started on the project I loved it. It’s very meditative. Following the pattern, find the color floss required, and making the stitches. I think I’ve made 5 or 6 thing so far and love it so much.

Number 8 are the first books in JD Robb’s In Death series, Nalini Singh’s Archangel and Psy/Changeling series, and Shelly Laurenston’s Pride series. I love these books!! No matter how crummy of a day, all I need to do is pick one of them up and I feel instantly better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to them all.  Shelly’s especially still make me laugh out loud.

Number 9 is Scott Cunningham’s book Wicca: Guide for the Solitary Practitioner

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I believe the book was published in 1988 and was the first book I purchased about paganism. I had been interested before this and looked at the library and read books on the sly at the bookstore. I know I had Tarot cards while in high school since my Mom got them for me for my birthday, but this book truly opened my eyes to a practice I could truly believe in. Though I do not follow Wicca, this was the introduction to who I am today, and almost gave me permission to dive into this religion I felt so connected to.

Number 10 is my home. I love this place. It’s my shelter and my hide away. Sis and I have worked to make it cozy and it never fails to lift me up when I get here. Stepping through the door, it’s as if a weight lifts from my shoulder.

That’s all for me, now go and see what Bronwyn says are her best purchases.

January 2019 Brain Dump

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I have so many thing on my mind lately. The state of the world, politics, why is high fashion so weird . . .my thoughts are endless. But let me share just some of what’s on my mind.

If you know anything about me, you know that I’m a crafting crazy. I always say I’m a Jill of all trades, but Mistress of none. So, I knit, embroider, cross stitch, make jewelry, make my own spa stuff, help Sis when she messes with her miniature projects. Now, I’ve decided I want to teach myself to water color. Yeah, I know, but it’s just something I feel I need to do. I’m sure I’ll be crap at it, but I don’t care.

I’ve labeled this year the Year of Self-Care and I downloaded the coolest app called Stop Breathe Think and I love it. It’s meditation, but more than that. It has a journaling section and it walks you through yoga and falling asleep. It’s good stuff.

I’ve also decided to try and teach myself Spanish or reteach myself. I have this app called Duolingo and it’s really good. The lessons are super short and I like it too.

Why is it when you need to work a cat will insist on being cradled like a baby, but when you’re free the cat is nowhere to be found?

Why are the stories in the news always bad? Couldn’t we maybe have 1 good story to every 2 bad?

I still don’t understand how people can back the current president. The man is a liar. He lies so much I expect his pants to just burst into flames at any moment. If they did, that would be really funny.

Why do some people think that if the person in front of them stops at a stop sign they don’t have to stop for it? Are they special? Do they not see it? Do they not understand what STOP actually means?

Cold weather is stupid. That’s all. It’s just stupid. Once the holidays are over the weather needs to be sunny and 65.

If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t stay at my day job. Even though I like my day job, yeah, I’d be so done.

Wow, I think that’s about all for me. If you want to share a random thought, you are more than welcome to jot one in the comment section.

Jessica    Bronwyn     Kris

Looking back & Moving forward

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Here we are at the start of another year. I can honestly say I’m really glad 2018 is gone. It wasn’t the best year on record. The depression, an ever present thing, was more present than ever. My day job was a total bear at times and my writing was non-existent.

BUT . . . that was 2018.

2019 is totally different. It is The Year of Self Care! If you wanna know more about this check out the blog post from Tuesday and it will tell you all about it. Anyway, as it is the Year of Self Care part of that will be taking my writing back. I had decided on this right after Christmas. In preparation, I was going to email the publishing house that held my Promises Series and ask for it back. There were changes and additions and fixes I wanted to make and, to do this, I needed to own it again.

The universe must have heard because when I went out to the site they had closed up shop. I was stunned as I hadn’t received a notice about it. I checked in with Bronwyn and she hadn’t heard about it either, but she suggested I check in with them to make sure my books were now mine again.

Yes they are!!!!! This totally kicks off the Year of Self Care with a vengeance. So, this year I am going to work to get the books released again, plus finish, at least, 2 other books. I know big goals, but that’s what this year is about. I’m also going to blog every time. I always say I’m going to “try” to blog, but yeah like Yoda says “Do or do not, there is no try.” So smart.

I’m also going to be more present and take better care of myself. I’m going to put me first. I know, scary concept. But this whole thing is one day at a time.

Tell me what your goals for the new year are and go out and see what Jessica, Kris and Bronwyn say is their goals.